Will you marry a rape victim ?

Posted: October 23, 2012 by anitahadasangwan in Opinions
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I am tired and angry of the daily escalating rape cases and furious of the politicization of rape. I see sensible men and women and leaders of this nation  justifying and explaining rape.
Numbers are pulled out of a hat, percentages are spouted without any thought, analysis or data.
The point remains that women are not safe. Full Stop.
Women in other developed countries wear what they want , they go where they wish, they study, they live without being harassed or held responsible for the irresponsible and raging hormones of fellow-men.
They aren’t ordered to not talk on mobiles phones or enquired about what they were wearing or where they were going. That is the meaning of being a developed nation. Where women and girls are safe.
And it’s not just hormones in my opinion, it’s the objectification of women.
Such men see women not as human beings but simply as objects for appeasement. They do not feel the need to control because there is no fear of punishment. After a long and torturous trial, torturous for the rape victim I mean,  the rapist will walk free. He will be a part of society, his parents and wife and family will welcome him back. So, why should he bother, there is nothing lost for him in giving in to his animal instincts.

Till society does not understand the horror of rape, till the lawmakers do not make stringent laws to protect women, till the authorities do not sympathize with the victim and understand the brutality suffered by her, till all of us do not realize that the victim is a sufferer not an object of curiosity, till the media does not report it as a crime not a titillation …till then rapes will increase, new-born girls will be thrown into garbage dumps, female infanticide will occur, gender ratio will remain unbalanced, men will ‘buy’ wives from better off states and women themselves will pray for sons.

We are heading towards the dark ages, we are heading towards doom. Beware of these times. They threaten not just women but humanity.

When I am critical and lambast men I am often asked why am I painting all by the same brush. I am not. But the point remains that for men , for good , kind, understanding, wonderful men also, rape is a women issue.
“I will never rape or tease a woman”.
But will you raise your voice against rape?
Will you stop other youths eve-teasing a girl or look away?
Will you fire or un-friend a male who harasses women colleagues ?
Will you marry a rape victim?

  1. Zena Costa says:

    (As a heterosexual ) I would Marry a man who was raped

    • But will a heterosexual male marry a female rape victim? That is the real question.

      • Zena Costa says:

        NO. I have not met nor can think of any man I personally am confident would. Male choices are the cause of the problem until sex offenders quit “deserving” vigins in any MCP dominated nation male choices are much like “She asked for it”(.Opinions) orgasms. Mine’s the most important and I really don’t care about yours..
        I have come to believe that many of us in India and South Asia WOMEN incl.would sooner die than remove our masks and stand barefaced before the world. BUT I hope we we ..OUR generations of mothers can raise boys who can face reality as MEN. As long as men the cause of the problem do not CHOOSE to be part of the solution its pretty demoralising for any woman. Shit Floats so does Hope . The Toss Up gen next could go either way!

  2. Andy says:

    From the point of view of males of a different culture (United States of America):

    – There is no expectation of virginity prior to marriage. There still exist a few ultraconservative religious people who believe in “saving themselves” until marriage, but that is a very small minority viewpoint

    – The average age of marriage is now 28 years old, it is implausible to expect a woman to have shown no interest in sex until age 28

    – Even if it were possible . .. virginity is actually undesirable, because it would mean the woman is inexperienced and therefore probably bad at sex technique

    So having removed the ideological arguments concerning virginity, what are the remaining issues concerning a woman who has been raped? It is precisely because rape is recognized as being a very traumatic experience. The victim will be viewed as psychologically traumatized, and initial sense of sympathy for her is outweighed by a feeling of revulsion and worry that she harbors secret “psychological issues” that will haunt both her and her prospective husband for the rest of their lives.

    Unfortunately it could still be damaging to the woman’s marriage prospects. So her strategy would probably be: After she has already been dating the man she is interested in for a long time, but before getting married, tell him that she was once raped. Then if he truly loves her, probably he will accept this and still consent to the marriage.

    • Ultra conservative? I am seeing a revolution amongst my friends in late 20s and early 30s who are “starting over” dating minus the sex, realizing the stupidity of their youth. Also, among intelligent and wise men being a virgin is not undesirable. Only amongst men that are immature, selfish and where its sex keeping them in the relationship. Any man that loves a woman should be willing to work on the sex after marriage. It disgusts me to think that you would generalize men in this way. Hecause she isnt sexually experienced, a man wont marry her? I would l8ve to know how old you are to see what generation is so messed up. This shows how men objectify women as sex objects. I dont think you should be speaking about a whole country with your limited scope.

    • Edgar says:

      What if they say during marriage?

  3. Neha Jha says:

    I think-NO! Most Indian men think that even though they have lost virginity,they want their wives to be completely clean(stupid word)…& their families will never accept someone like that. From my experience,most men are scared to confront their parents when it comes to taking bold decisions. Their power is only physically bound. They don’t have any real courage. One can’t expect something as courageous as this from such ‘scared’ men!!

  4. Pat says:

    I would have no problem marrying a rape victim if she can mentally emerge from the saga and not get turned off by all men. Beyond that it really does not matter to me and my criteria for deciding to date/marry a girl remains the same for all girls. Unfortunately from what I have read about rape victims, this is a very hard thing to do and majority of the victims are never able to truly move on.

  5. Dev says:

    yes i will like to marry a rape victim , will you arrange someone for me

  6. mahadev says:

    yes i will mery witherape girl becuase girl like’s gode’s lakshmi just find good looking
    in human body thare is aatma it’s pavitra dont body think only about atma

  7. Yadav says:

    Yes i cud marry a rape victim

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