Archive for December, 2012


Guest post by a guy who believes you can be safe if you look at signs.

The government cannot make harsher laws to make you safe.

The cops cannot be more vigilant to make you safe.

There is only one person in this world who can make you safe. You are that person. Only YOU can ensure you are safe.

Here are some practical steps I have been sharing with my sisters. This is what I would like to share with you.

  • Be alert. Look for warning signs. Trust your instincts.

Is the area you’re walking through in the middle of the night really safe? Is the party you’re going to full of strangers exhibiting strange behavior? Is your boyfriend groping you without consent? Women know something is wrong about a situation even before they can really put a finger on what is really wrong about it. The tragedy is in not respecting that first thought you get.

  • Respect reality. Know the harsh truths about your surroundings.

Is your society ready for your freedom to wear what you wish to? Are people around you generally sexually liberated? Have the people you interact with been exposed to global fashion trends that not only tolerate but maybe even encourage the show of skin? It is one thing to say that you should have the right to wear what you want to, act friendly and intimate with anyone you wish to, etc. but a completely different thing to say that I will knowingly put a juicy chunk of meat in a pool full of starving piranhas and expect them to not pounce on it. Sure women’s rights activist will want to hang me for saying this, but to them I say just one thing – please live to fight the battle another day. What needs to be changed is the male mindset. If you truly want to win this battle, be prepared to fight a long and tiring battle. And prepare to live. Taking your chances out there on the minefield will not help.

  • Stand up for others in distress.

Are you the kinds who is holding a candle in one of the protests today but on some other day have quietly seen someone’s daughter or sister get eve teased or assaulted in public without helping them? Shame on you! If you really want to take a stand against assaults on women, that candle light vigil will do nothing compared to what assisting a woman in need can do. This really is the most under rated strategy to bring about a change in the male mindset. Show the males their disgusting attitudes will not be tolerated and you have a chance of curing them of their ill. Show them that the might of the decent folks far outshine the might of the disgusting folks and you have a chance to strike fear in their hearts the way no harsh law ever could. The domino effect of that act can ensure someone else who may target you in the future is already discouraged.

  • Learn self defense. Not just physical but mental and emotional too.

You think rape is only physical? You think it is just the body that gets violated? Wrong. The assault is always at multiple levels. And so should your self defense be. For times when all your precautions fail you, sure you should learn Judo, Karate or anything else you can enroll for. But also know that if, God forbid, the unthinkable happens, you are not the one at fault. You are not to be blamed. The shame must fall on the perpetrators of that heinous act. Don’t get into a cocoon and let those bastards walk free. Fight them. And the spineless others who might discourage you. They may have struck first, but you can still finish it!

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So, what do we do now ?

Posted: December 24, 2012 by anitahadasangwan in Uncategorized

So, what do we do now ?

Once the candle marches are over, when we have to perforce go back to our colleges and offices,what do we do?

How do we sustain this anger?

How do we continue to ask the questions that have been raised?How do we persistently keep on making efforts to improve the safety of girls and women in India?

How ?

The answers are not clear but I will try to find some on one aspect – that is public harassment of girls/women.

  • React to public teasing, I dislike the term ‘eve-teasing’-  that is , don’t just give a look, shout and scream, go ballistic and EVERYBODY should support the girl. Let their be no silent spectators. Make the situation such that men are scared to – tease, pass remarks, touch in passing – anything.
  • Public has power, if all us strongly decide to raise a voice against harassment of a girl in public, incidences will go down. Many of us are scared to directly help or raise a voice but let us promise , none of us will be alone now. One voice will be joined by many,always.
  • Girls , be alert. Do not walk on the roads busy talking on mobiles or listening to music, lost in your own world. Don’t look like a victim. Look confident and assertive. Look strong.
  • Learn basic self defense skills, know where to punch, you need to be alert and agile not just physically strong, you need to mentally strong.
  • If you are touched incorrectly, turn around and face the tormentor and speak loudly in mother tongue. If you are in a bus ask the driver to take the bus directly to the nearest police station immediately.
  • If you walking and alone , directly ask help from passers by instead of looking around helplessly. You will be surprised how many will help sincerely if asked directly.
  • Learn to be a good judge of character, trust your instincts, your inner voice.

I am writing these suggestions purely on the basis that something has changed, that after December 2012 if a girl appeals for help we all will come forward in spite of office hours , if we see a girl being harassed we will not lower our eyes and walk away, each and every one of us will remember -its my nation and my concern,my responsibility…”I will not allow innocent girls to be scared”

 

I am hoping SOMETHING has changed …


Guest post by Priyanjana:

Dear Sir,

 

I am an out-station student who studied in Delhi and would like to pen my opinion. Sir, there are hardly any woman I know who has not been subject to harassment at least once. Finding someone who has been harassed just once will be the ‘rarest of the rare’ case, as you would call it.

 

Sir, what is happening in Delhi today is a collective frustration of every girl who feels helpless and they are protesting against the ineffective laws that render them helpless and vulnerable. I have grown up hearing how unsafe Delhi is for women and I don’t want my next generation to grow up hearing the same thing and accepting it as a part of their culture and social taboo.

 

I have seen it is very convenient for people to blame it on one word- provoking. I fail to understand what exactly is provocative to men? Whether it’s the clothes that were provoking or the time at which they were out in the street that was provoking or the fact that her character is loose that provoked them. I clearly do not understand what provokes men, even if she is a sex worker, she has the right not to get raped. So, your men who think they can get away with such excuses should clearly be made to think again, sir.

 

How difficult is it, sir, to ensure effective policing?

I heard your interview the other day and it is disheartening to hear the Delhi Police commissioner saying that girls must not be out post 3 am in the night. A promise to ensure safety at any hour in the night would have been really satisfying to hear. By a promise, I do not mean an empty promise but a promise that you would work towards and make happen.

 

Sir, when so many students are protesting and want to voice their opinion, why is it necessary to shell out tear gases and use water cannons? Why can the opinions not be voiced, the problems of the people not considered and safety be ensured? Sir, are we supposed to carry on being submissive and not be taken care of because men get provoked? As the Police Commissioner, Sir, it is expected from you to break this myth, to change the mindset, to not allow any more injustice to happen, to take up the responsibility of the city, to never let history repeat, to implement the laws effectively and strictly so that next time a man thinks of harassing any woman he is forced to change the way he thinks, to ensure a safer future and set an example.

 

I would not dive into the statistics and wait for more rapes to happen so that the number gets stronger so that it becomes important enough for the matter to be taken seriously.

Let Delhi set an example and other cities will follow.

 

Sir, on behalf of all the women, I urge you to take effective steps, to increase police patrols in the dark stretches of Delhi, to tighten security in the night, ensure all the helplines are working, to make sure every metro and every bus has a guard, to ensure every police man is gender sensitized and to entrust safety with regular follow ups.

 

This is what we simply want, promise us this and then you can roll your tear gases bombs back.


Guest post by Varsha Kalyani, student of MA English Literature who aspires to bring change in society through her words and hopes to succeed one day & witness the change:

The news chilled me to the bones

For it could have been any of the girls

You, Me, Our Sister, Our friend…

Anyone!

If such cases will continue to transpire,

In fear of ‘HER’ Life,

Folks will stop sending their gals out

Quivering & Shivering of torments!

Why dont they understand?

The mental trauma a GIRL undergoes.

Physical injuries a doctor can heal

But what about the mental agonies?

Who’s gonna heal them?

A doctor, A Minister or A police officer!?

Even after saving ‘HER’ life,

Lending her breathe,

You think ‘SHE’ would survive through

that mortification of a molestation!?

Would punishing the culprits

make her lead a normal life?

Why don’t they understand

Someday their own daughters

might be ravished?

Why such barbarous beastly brutal act?

These ministers who move

With security & guards

can never perceive their own daughter

In victims place for they are not commoner!

Such pathetic cases

Would bring the doomsday soon

& its must come,

for ‘SHE’ would be safer

with the Demons & Satans of Hell

than the Devils & Belials of this Infernal Land !

 

PS: The post came out as my reaction to the news! vexing & annoying state of affairs.

Posted: December 23, 2012 by sakshikumarindia in Uncategorized

Shobhit Agarwal

I have seen and heard enough people give their opinion on the Delhi gang-rape case. The only reason I have waited so long to write something on the matter is because I was keenly observing the reactions of the people. And after a comprehensive analysis, these are the conclusions I have drawn – the political class continues to let us down, both with their reaction as well as their assessment of the problem; the judiciary, self-admittedly is inefficient in dealing with the pending cases, let alone handling the new ones; and we, Indians, have already started blaming any and everyone for the current situation, without standing up and talking responsibility by acknowledging that the biggest culprit  lies within us.

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