Posts Tagged ‘delhi’


I wrote this post while traveling since my mind cannot rest. Since the current incidents have assured me that nobody else but ME has to take charge of my own safety. 

She has a guy with her, she is safe-> is one of the common notions, which a lot of women have. But the recent Delhi Rape case proved it wrong and has brought the brutal truth in front of us. No doubt having a guy while you’re traveling late night or through a dingy area is good but to entirely depend on them is NOT.

Everyday I see a lot of girls making claims that they are safe since they have a boyfriend, even if they are living away from home. They have a guy to protect them and fight for them. What they don’t realize is that the guy is not going to be there 24/7 and the guy doesn’t ensure safety. Instead of relying on a guy for one’s safety, women of today need to take charge of their safety to themselves.

Girls/Women/Kids need to be self-sufficient that they can kick balls of anyone who tries to misbehave. Women need to be mentally strong and should know atleast basic self-defense techniques. They need to learn how to get out of some tricky situations or how to use their bags/phones/magazines as a tool for safety. They need to have the inner self-confidence and let it reflect on their faces. They need to be mentally prepared to face the worst of situations alone. Even woman needs to set an example for others and show the men that they’re not feeble, they will not keep quiet, they will stand up for themselves.

Apart from this, we hear about a lot of cases where a boyfriend or a husband is the cause of the sexual assault or molestation or physical damage. Women need to learn to stand up for themselves and not face any kind of violence or misbehavior. There is peer pressure or family pressure, but if you don’t stand for yourselves; nobody else will.

Break the rules, but say NO to Injustice. Say NO to misbehavior. Say NO to anything that pulls you down.

More power to the Women community!

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Guest blog by Prashanth Kagali:
Rape means, “the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.”
I am a positive person and would love to inspire people and get inspired from them. But I have no idea how to inspire a girl who is raped. I feel shame even to approach considering the resentment she would be having against men, which is perfectly right on her part.
When fathers are raping their own daughters, there is no way a girl can trust any man. Even animals would not do this kind of heinous act. As the above definition goes, rape is something that is forced onto another person, against their will. Being a guy if someone forces me to do a simple thing as eating something, which is against my will, I reject it in the strongest of terms. I may never understand what a girl goes through and how it feels for her when someone rapes her, but forcing someone against their will even for smallest of things is just not respecting that person what he or she is.
What needs to be done?
Enough is written about the Rape incidents and its good people are talking and writing more about it. We always have to address the root cause of any problem. Here is where the education comes into picture. Education means not only what is taught at school but also at home. Parents have to teach their male children how to respect girls and how to treat them.
If only these Rape incidents have to end, then every parent should handover their son, a rapist, to the police and ensure strict action is taken. Tell me, how many parents or sisters or brothers would treat their sons or brothers with the same anger as they treat with any other rapist? It’s all about taking a stand.
We cannot live peacefully in a world if one tries to dominate the other. It’s all about giving respect to the other sex. Men need to be educated about the pain that girls goes through when they are raped. No matter what law is passed and what punishment is granted, rape can never be eliminated unless rapists exercise self-control.
I don’t get the idea of movies showing rape scenes. According to me it doesn’t make any sense. Rape scenes should be banned in movies. These rape scenes clearly show that men can exercise control over women. May be this is also in some way helping the rapists. Passing a single law or legislation or holding committees or giving death sentences can never eliminate rape. As we all know how death sentences are given in India. If the amount of time and money spent on deciding whether to give death sentence to Kasab is any indication then you can imagine what would be the case in these rape incidents.
Women deserve respect and it’s a shame that they have to fight for it even today.

Guest post by a guy who believes you can be safe if you look at signs.

The government cannot make harsher laws to make you safe.

The cops cannot be more vigilant to make you safe.

There is only one person in this world who can make you safe. You are that person. Only YOU can ensure you are safe.

Here are some practical steps I have been sharing with my sisters. This is what I would like to share with you.

  • Be alert. Look for warning signs. Trust your instincts.

Is the area you’re walking through in the middle of the night really safe? Is the party you’re going to full of strangers exhibiting strange behavior? Is your boyfriend groping you without consent? Women know something is wrong about a situation even before they can really put a finger on what is really wrong about it. The tragedy is in not respecting that first thought you get.

  • Respect reality. Know the harsh truths about your surroundings.

Is your society ready for your freedom to wear what you wish to? Are people around you generally sexually liberated? Have the people you interact with been exposed to global fashion trends that not only tolerate but maybe even encourage the show of skin? It is one thing to say that you should have the right to wear what you want to, act friendly and intimate with anyone you wish to, etc. but a completely different thing to say that I will knowingly put a juicy chunk of meat in a pool full of starving piranhas and expect them to not pounce on it. Sure women’s rights activist will want to hang me for saying this, but to them I say just one thing – please live to fight the battle another day. What needs to be changed is the male mindset. If you truly want to win this battle, be prepared to fight a long and tiring battle. And prepare to live. Taking your chances out there on the minefield will not help.

  • Stand up for others in distress.

Are you the kinds who is holding a candle in one of the protests today but on some other day have quietly seen someone’s daughter or sister get eve teased or assaulted in public without helping them? Shame on you! If you really want to take a stand against assaults on women, that candle light vigil will do nothing compared to what assisting a woman in need can do. This really is the most under rated strategy to bring about a change in the male mindset. Show the males their disgusting attitudes will not be tolerated and you have a chance of curing them of their ill. Show them that the might of the decent folks far outshine the might of the disgusting folks and you have a chance to strike fear in their hearts the way no harsh law ever could. The domino effect of that act can ensure someone else who may target you in the future is already discouraged.

  • Learn self defense. Not just physical but mental and emotional too.

You think rape is only physical? You think it is just the body that gets violated? Wrong. The assault is always at multiple levels. And so should your self defense be. For times when all your precautions fail you, sure you should learn Judo, Karate or anything else you can enroll for. But also know that if, God forbid, the unthinkable happens, you are not the one at fault. You are not to be blamed. The shame must fall on the perpetrators of that heinous act. Don’t get into a cocoon and let those bastards walk free. Fight them. And the spineless others who might discourage you. They may have struck first, but you can still finish it!


Guest post by Priyanjana:

Dear Sir,

 

I am an out-station student who studied in Delhi and would like to pen my opinion. Sir, there are hardly any woman I know who has not been subject to harassment at least once. Finding someone who has been harassed just once will be the ‘rarest of the rare’ case, as you would call it.

 

Sir, what is happening in Delhi today is a collective frustration of every girl who feels helpless and they are protesting against the ineffective laws that render them helpless and vulnerable. I have grown up hearing how unsafe Delhi is for women and I don’t want my next generation to grow up hearing the same thing and accepting it as a part of their culture and social taboo.

 

I have seen it is very convenient for people to blame it on one word- provoking. I fail to understand what exactly is provocative to men? Whether it’s the clothes that were provoking or the time at which they were out in the street that was provoking or the fact that her character is loose that provoked them. I clearly do not understand what provokes men, even if she is a sex worker, she has the right not to get raped. So, your men who think they can get away with such excuses should clearly be made to think again, sir.

 

How difficult is it, sir, to ensure effective policing?

I heard your interview the other day and it is disheartening to hear the Delhi Police commissioner saying that girls must not be out post 3 am in the night. A promise to ensure safety at any hour in the night would have been really satisfying to hear. By a promise, I do not mean an empty promise but a promise that you would work towards and make happen.

 

Sir, when so many students are protesting and want to voice their opinion, why is it necessary to shell out tear gases and use water cannons? Why can the opinions not be voiced, the problems of the people not considered and safety be ensured? Sir, are we supposed to carry on being submissive and not be taken care of because men get provoked? As the Police Commissioner, Sir, it is expected from you to break this myth, to change the mindset, to not allow any more injustice to happen, to take up the responsibility of the city, to never let history repeat, to implement the laws effectively and strictly so that next time a man thinks of harassing any woman he is forced to change the way he thinks, to ensure a safer future and set an example.

 

I would not dive into the statistics and wait for more rapes to happen so that the number gets stronger so that it becomes important enough for the matter to be taken seriously.

Let Delhi set an example and other cities will follow.

 

Sir, on behalf of all the women, I urge you to take effective steps, to increase police patrols in the dark stretches of Delhi, to tighten security in the night, ensure all the helplines are working, to make sure every metro and every bus has a guard, to ensure every police man is gender sensitized and to entrust safety with regular follow ups.

 

This is what we simply want, promise us this and then you can roll your tear gases bombs back.


Guest post by @GalenesBombayia / Shilpa. She talks about a completely different perspective of a girl on the recent Delhi Rape case and crimes against women.

While the Nation mourns to the heinous act of mankind which engulfed a woman of twenty-three and her male friend brutally on an evening like any other in India’s capital, Delhi, I have come face to face upon a path which slowly eats me from within as I attempt to understand the issue of rising crimes against women with my non-Delhite friends and elders alike.

Having arrived to India five years ago from an entirely different environment back in the West where I practically spend my entire life, I was certainly in for a rude shock. It is not that I did not know that there is the so called innocent “eve-teasing” and minute groping which I should learn to adjust with if I plan to avoid any trouble for me and my family, though what did alarm me was the attitude towards it all. If I am seen wearing anything above my knees by my neighbourhood men then I am apparently inviting it.  My father calls it keeping the “undesired attention” under wraps.

I come from a fairly liberal middle class family who had never lifted a brow on as to what I wear, the men I hang out with and what time I came home, back abroad. So when one by one every right or rather preference was snatched away I struggled. Struggled with my parents and their sudden conservative outlook towards life and me. Days would go in absolute furry and cold silence between me and them. When I threw tantrums as to why can I not wear my micro shorts as the terrible Delhi weather demands it and some girls do, my father would say, “I don’t have a chauffeur and you take the public transport”, whereas, before my mother could utter a word my grandmother would echo her exceptionally irksome statement on the fact that such girls do not come from good families and each time I clenched my teeth and walked away for the sake of harmony in the family as all Indian mothers I guess teach you to do. However, I demand to know what does clothes, language and preferences be it of any sphere have to do with one’s character as long as they are not creating a hindrance in maintaining decorum to a place, basically implying that a bikini is apt on a beach while in a conference it seems not. The activities in a particular arena of one’s life should not have a negative implication on another.

Yet, as I fought endlessly with those around me and myself, I could slowly see myself losing the battle; kurtis, jeans and duppata replaced the dresses, shorts and tank tops. As time passed I came to register the fact that if I want to remain away from terrible consequences which may shatter my well-being I should simply alter my dress code. Time constraints and giving an hourly update of my location was nothing unnatural anymore for a girl who earlier knew no bounds. The regular rape cases made me realize that perhaps my parents were right after all. So when Barkha Dutt tweeted on Twitter after the gang rape occurred in the cities busiest places, “If you curb your daughter’s life from fear, you let the rapists win. So set her free. And let her fight. And demand safer cities.” it certainly strung a bitter cord which had a larger resonance than all those favs that the tweet got. After all who would know better than a woman who in her bloom fought with herself and her family to reclaim her mere right to assert her preferences like so many others.

The concepts of freedom, freewill and equality which were inherent in my very being took a back seat when I embraced silence for my parent’s convenience. Till safety laws and policies only do lip-service who would want to stand up to fight for the cause which is sooner or later forgotten amidst the rat race which each finds themselves in? When the government and its law makers are critical victims of the post-facto system, who would have the courage to divert from their guardian’s words which remind you time and again to learn from other’s mistakes?

All the current sentiments and expressions of unjust treatment are understandable. Yet, how does one explain to a Mumbaikar whose day starts at two in the night that while the police there has a strong hold on its subjects, here they are unfortunately a mocked lot. With all due respect to the victim I do wonder that perhaps had she been a bit more careful as to not board a tinted bus which was not even running on route that day then today her fate may have been somewhat different. Perhaps had she observed that all the passengers were men and appeared mischievous in one way or the other then the indomitable spirit the victim has displayed while battling for her life need not have been even called for.

In no context is the victim to be blamed for what transpired on that unfortunate evening. Though, a being without power like millions in the country does question themselves as to why did the victim have to commit the “mistake” of being unaware of her circumstances for even once as when our so called protectors cannot guarantee our safety then she should have understood that it’s in her own hands to do so.