Posts Tagged ‘girl’


Lying on the roadside …near the garbage heap,

Covered in your mother’s blood …

Your barely formed head…covered with sparse hair….wet…

Your eyes are clenched closed ……and pointed chin touches your barely moving chest…

Fists closed …arms crossed across your unformed breasts…

Your knees are drawn up tightly across your tiny caved in stomach…

The placenta torn and sneaking through them and lying …like a withered snake …unsure…

Your thin legs are crossed at the tiny delicate ankles…pink toes speckled with blood…

I see you my daughter…

 

 I see you my daughter…

Lying on the roadside …near the garbage heap,

Covered in your own blood …

Your head covered with sticky mottled hair …lying bedraggled across your bare shoulders…

Your eyes are clenched closed ……and pointed chin touches your barely moving chest…

Fists closed …arms crossed across your beautiful bare breasts with burn marks …

Your knees are drawn up tightly across your curved stomach…

The womanhood torn and sneaking through them and lying …like a withered snake …unsure…

Your bare long legs are crossed at the ankles…red coloured toes speckled with blood…

I see you my daughter…

 A journey of a million smiles ….a million blessings…so many tiny dancing steps…so many birthday gifts…a zillion words…so many classes and teachers… beautiful dreams …a journey of a million tears…

…to end from your mother’s blood in your own …from death to death …

 © Dr. Anita Hada Sangwan

Female Foeticide

Posted: December 20, 2012 by sakshikumarindia in Opinions
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 Ashwin DodaniGuest post by Ashwin Dodani,
“What is my fault, but?” the girl asked.
“You are a girl.” someone replied, in a shivering manner though.
Starting with such a question, I thought of writing on this topic because this is something talked about a lot and we are getting to nowhere even after just discussing about it. Here I just want to put my point of view on the topic and possibly this reading could save even one girl there out in the world making this worth. The question is asked by that female foetus who has not even yet came in this world and is brutally killed when was just about to come in to this beautiful world. Her mouth was shut by the answer which simply said that you are a girl. Is really being a girl enough to be killed? Is a girl that load to us which we can’t bear? Is a girl not deserving to come to this world and see the enormous beauty which God has created for everyone to relish equally? and there are innumerable questions which we can ask when it comes to talk about this topic.
The thought of writing on this topic came yesterday when I was watching an episode of “Crime Patrol” which had the same theme and the way it was depicted was so cruel that it made me teary for a while. Still that one episode was just a glance of what is going in this world when it comes to female child and though knowing that its wrong to kill a girl child, we are doing it. This fact that we are doing it wrong is depicted in the answer when its said, replied in a shivering manner, because everyone knows that killing a life is nowhere a good deed and we are no one to decide that who will come in this world and who will not. Its solely the decision of God to gift you a child and when you receive it you should respect it because there are infinite parents there grieving for a child but they cannot have their own. The fact, the bliss, the feeling of having your own child cannot be expressed in to words, though I haven’t been a parent yet I can say so because I have seen my cousin sisters when they had their own child, my own sister, how and what she feels about my nephew is enormous. The reason being behind this act is what I feel I am describing below:
“First of all in the name of girl, the first thought which comes to a parents’s mind is that we have to bear the cost of her marriage. Secondly how much we are going to spend on her development, her studies and making her a good human, at the end she is going to leave our home and go to someone else’s. Thirdly n number of insecurities they will have to face in her youth because wherever we see, may it be any city there are cases of rape, eve teasing and many more things which even girls don’t share with anyone because they just don’t want to feel worse about it. Fourthly now a days people have an image that if its a girl what more she can do than just making food, stitching, doing a basic job and raise her child.”
This is the basic mentality I am talking about. Yes, I know many things have changed in today’s world but then there are I can say 50% of the people who still have these in their mind however modern they have become and no matter any number of changes they have accepted. There is no doubt that parents are very insecure about their children and this when comes to a boy or a girl remains same but the intensity when it comes to a girl child becomes more because they feel that they are the one who take their parents’s image in to the society and anything bad in regards to them will put their family to shame. But when the same things are done by their boys the society doesn’t raise a finger, why? Is that the boys are allowed to do so or there is an impression that boys are meant to do so, they already are such since they are born. If we see this scenario in the latter part boys become the worst reason to be a part of their family and they are automatically putting their families to shame where girls not doing anything just born in their family make them so insecure and protective. Isn’t this the biggest question to ourselves?
If we see with a broader perspective we can adore and respect the girl child with the same dignity and even make the most out of them making you feel proud and lift your collar. If you feel that you raise your girl child with the same dedication, you allow her to go work in a good company and you do her marriage in a good house where the same mentality exists, don’t you think they will make you proud? If she performs well in an organization, if they perform in their Life, won’t you feel the same Respect that your child did that? When you made her learn to be strong, when you taught her that Life is a constant battle and she faces her problems on her own, cries alone but still be there for you when you need, won’t you cry out a bucket? Its all about having a broader perception and not always getting affected by the surroundings and what people might think. You conceive a child not thinking that it would be a girl/boy but someone who will bring happiness to your family, a pride in your heart and that constant smile on your face which makes even your death peaceful. Checking the sex of the child developing in your foetus should make you feel guilty that are you giving birth to someone who will just take care of you and provide you a financial support or someone whom you would be proud of to have as your own blood.
Not that every guy is going to feed you Respect and love and not every girl is going to ruin your image, family and existence. It all comes in the way you raise them. If you count your blessing to be blessed with a child and accept whomever he/she is, trust me you will never be short of happiness because your intentions were true, your faith in that child is pure and the way you have raised the child will fill the child with all of you in them. This will carry forward and make them believe the same and this can change the scenario of the world in the coming generations. Start taking responsibility for the capability you are given, for the love you make and for the abundant sanctity you can experience if you move on from the same old beliefs.
I hope this article makes you believe that may it be a girl or a boy when it comes to Respect even hermaphrodite gets more than both of them.
Thank you for Reading..

This is the first story from my book ‘Steps’.There are eight  stories in all, all fiction and I will share my women and a part of myself through them here … with all of you. I hope you will find yourselves too somewhere. 

Uma- I wrote it as I waited to be called for an interview. I had nothing with me except copies of my resume and wrote in on the back of the three pages that make my resume. The director probably saw me scribbling away and asked me to show him what I was writing Outside. Hesitantly I showed him my scribbled story. He told me that though I was the most highly qualified candidate and would be offered  the job,  I should go home and write. I did.

UMA

Uma lay quietly, looking up at the soot darkened walls and the sunlight filtering through the dusty mesh. It made odd patterns. They reminded her of her daughter’s attempt at putting henna on her hands, as she had last week, on the auspicious festival of Gangaur. She raised her hands to see the discoloured henna, and rubbed them feebly together- blood on her hands.  What was wrong with her, why was she thinking of blood and death? She lay awaiting life- the birth of her child- her fifth child, child..??  After four daughters she awaited only the birth of a son, no longer of a ‘child’.

            Pain came stronger now, in waves, but Uma did not make a sound. She had screamed enough the past four times but the Gods had not listened, better to bear it. Oh! Why did she not have the optimism these other women squatting around her had? They seemed sure she would beget a son- the promised heir to the name and property. Property? The meager 2 acres left over from drink and gambling? He needed a heir for THAT? She laughed mirthlessly and her sister-in-law mistaking the sound for a sob, moved close, dabbing her forehead with her sari pallu.

            Uma looked into the face of her husband’s younger sister. She seemingly bore no resemblance to the young pretty girl she had been when Uma had entered the house as a young bride. Girls were not supposed to be happy but at least there had been hope and a vestige of a dream on her face. Five years of marriage had wiped out the wishes and dreams. Like the women around her, her face had only weariness etched in its lines now. Not grief, not desperation not even the death of her dreams – just weariness of life , of the constant compromise, the acceptance of the unaccceptable. They looked into each other’s eyes and shifted their gaze away, it seemed they both know the truth that they would have to face soon. Let’s leave it for now, their eyes said.

            Uma’s gaze went to the inner door where her eldest daughter peeped through, holding her sisters back, just nine years old and already a mother to her siblings. She remembered her soft words of yesterday as she rubbed her mother’s aching back and calmed her that it would be a son this time and how she would look after her brother and care for him.

            Suddenly Uma wanted it all to stop. She wanted to hold the little scrap of humanity safe in her womb forever and protect her daughter. To give birth would be to sentence her to the hellish life of her sisters, mother and generations of women. If… if she was allowed to live.

            She knew why the official midwife had not been called this time, knew the meaning of the cauldron of milk kept in a corner of the room. She averted her eyes, her heart silently screaming at her unborn child to remain unborn. She sobbed aloud as pain tore through her and the women in the room suddenly came to life.

Uma  lost herself in a world of pain and prayer, Later, there was an easing of pain and the cry of a baby, Uma did  not know how long or short it had been. She did not open her eyes, not wanting to look at the child who would soon be cruelly snatched away from her, and was not it better this way. She hardened her heart against the inevitable pain and horror.

Loud clanging and joyous shouts, she opened her eyes startled. She looked into the ecstatic faces of her mother and sister-in-law. ‘It’s a son’- she ran to break the news to her anxiously waiting brother.

Uma turned her face away to the inner door and beckoned her daughters to her, opening her tired arms to them. As they came in timidly, Uma’s face broke into a smile.


In the times of female foeticide, molestation, rape, acid attack & more; it’s the women who have to protect themselves from the big bad world. Either by being over alert or by learning self-defense.

But what about the school going schools who are not even aware about most of these issues. There are cases when a young girl is molested, touched at inappropriate places and she is either too scared to tell anyone or unaware that something bad happened.

What is the solution?

We cannot stop the crime but we can surely bring about awareness. Every girl should be made aware of her private parts in school or by family/cousins. They should know that any unknown person touching them in those places in not appropriate. Also, the family should make sure their daughter knows she can share every single incident with them, even if it is something inappropriate. The young girls should have enough faith that their family would support them in all ways. Also, basic defense mechanism should be made compulsory in every school. And for those unfortunate girls who don’t attend school, some special classes about awareness & defense should be arranged.

If education & awareness starts right from the young age, a lot of unfortunate incidents can be prevented or tackled.

More power to the young girls!!


 

During my monthly visit (a necessity at this age not a luxury believe me) to the Beauty parlour, or salon as they are called nowadays, I came across a young girl with impossibly beautiful long hair who was sitting in the waiting area with an infant and a young boy of 3-4 years.
Now, I love small children when they belong to somebody else but am scared of young boys, they are a typical breed full of pent up energy.
Anyway, I sat next to her and tried to peek into the multiple fold to see the ‘baby’, the young lady obliged and I gazed upon a cute pink face scrunched up in sleepy concentration. After the usual conversation I gleaned that she was the young aunt and these kids belonged to her elder sister. The baby was just 3 weeks old, but her sister had to visit the parlour so here we are. Between all this conversation the boy tried to rescue a goldfish from drowning in the decorative aquarium of the salon.
A woman standing at the counter turned and came to us and informed that ‘it’ will take three hours. She was undoubtedly the mother of this duo, the sister told her to go ahead and after setting up a ‘feeding time for the baby’ the young beautiful mother went inside. I was intrigued and as I still had a few minutes before my appointment I decided to vent my curiosity.
“Your sister is in the media industry, TV or something?”
“No, Didi was a teacher but she has resigned. She is very beautiful, everybody asks this question,” the young girl replied.
My query though was based on the need to come to the parlour to ‘become beautiful’ after barely a month of delivery. It turned out that it had been hinted broadly by the father of these two beautiful children that wasn’t it high time she did herself up, after all how many days was needed to go around with oily sticky hair etc.
With modern medicine the old ‘40 day’ rest period for young mothers is out. After all women go back to work after a week of delivery now. But my point is that it should be they who should want to. If the young mother just wants to be a mother for a month, why can’t she be? Why does she have to always be the beautiful wife?
Women juggle so many roles in a lifetime, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, mother etc. The men do too definitely but the role of a mother is unique. Without getting mushy about it, let us at least give respect to her and time.
Please, can I just be a mother for a few days?