Posts Tagged ‘men’


Guest post by an Anonymous Delhi guy who feels there is a deeper meaning to the act on Dec 16th. He thinks the humans have become dangerous animals & still need to evolve.

A lot has been said about the Dec 16th Delhi Rape Case.

Many have wondered how could one human rape another human. Many feel rape should invoke harsher punishments to be wiped off our psyche. Many have argued men should be better raised for this menace to be eradicated.

I’ve been pre-occupied with something completely different about this case. I am not so sure if it has been explored by all those who “talk” only when such incidents come forth to our notice.

I am talking about the animal violence that followed the otherwise ghastly act.

What is it about our genetics that makes us go over the top? Not just in the case of rape, take road rage for instance. When someone cuts us off while driving, not only do we get medieval by cutting them off at the risk of hurting others, we sometimes force them to stop their vehicle, beat them up, and then even as their near dead motionless body lies there, we kick it or shoot at it one last time just to satiate the animal inside us. That is eerily similar to what happened at around 9:30 pm on Dec 16th – not only did several men rape a girl, they then went on to physically damage her insides and then threw her off the bus. If there are many amongst us who would go overboard in the case of road rage, we must come to this disturbing conclusion that there are many amongst us who would have done the exact same thing as those evil men in the case of sexual rage.

I am not sure I have an answer to why it happened. But I am not sure if it can be cured by harsher punishments – heck if that were the case we’d have zero murders. I don’t even think better upbringing would wipe this off our psyches – heck if that were the case, we’d all be respecting our elders and be kind to children.

I think in the final analysis, one thing is very clear. Humans have not evolved as much as we’d like to think we have. The animal inside us is very much alive. And maybe it’s gotten even more dangerous. We’re now hunting amongst our kind.

And as long as that happens, none of us are safe from each other. Not women, not children, not men either. No one

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Recently I came across this case happening in one of my extended circles. A married woman in late 20s alleged that her husband of 10 years is gay and filed for divorce in the court. She claimed that both her daughters (aged 6-yrs and 2-yrs) are conceived off another man because her own husband was incapable of forming a sexual relationship with her due to his sexual orientation.
What I found appalling was that she left both her daughters with the husband’s family and took off to her mother’s. She has now joined a college and is portraying herself as a single girl in order to get married to this other man of resourceful means.

I don’t know how the court has reacted to her allegations specially since if the daughters are not natural-born to her husband, why should he be entitled to their custody? His case is evidently stronger than his wife’s since she’s the one that cheated and left her kids with his family. But in his last conversation to a relative he told that the court seems inclined towards the wife and he may even have to pay compensation for the divorce along with getting custody of the children.

How fair is that to the man and his family is all I ask? Why does he have to pay for his wife’s self-confessed infidelity, insensitivity and ill-attachment to her own kids?

Another case that recently happened in one of my father’s friends’ family is that a newly wed asked for a hefty sum of money to be transferred to her mother’s account or else she’ll file a dowry case against the husband and his family.When the family  did not pay heed to her threats, she filed a case against the husband claiming he is impotent and has an extra-marital affair. The court ruled in her favor and she received a handsome alimony.

When I was a toddler, our neighbors’ son, a doctor got married to a woman who was under a false identity, filed a case of dowry demand  and domestic violence and put the whole family behind the bars in return for heavy compensation in cash. Her false identity was discovered when she was caught doing the same to another family and our neighbors were finally let out of jail a decade later. Justice may have been served late but the family is now living in slums, trying to make ends meet through daily wage jobs.

I am sure these are not the only cases you have heard about.

Women go to the police with a complaint (may be false), but the system provides to record that as a criminal complaint and that data adds in to the National Statistics of Crime Against Women. When male goes with a genuine complaint the police at max can record a Non Cognizable offence against the women. That will never reflect in the statistics. Then how will one guage crime against men? Every 100 Suicides in India have 63 Males and 37 Females. Every 100 male suicides have 45 married males, and every 100 women suicides have 25 married Women. Married women suicides have default arrests of the inlaws under presumed dowry death. Married men suicides entitle wife for a 50% share in property. — Jinesh Zaveri, an advocate on men’s rights in marriage laws.

The biggest threats to Indian men and Indian families is Article 498A of Indian Penal Code , Passed by Indian Parliament in 1983, which is a criminal law (not a civil law):

“Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. The offence is Cognizable, non-compoundable and non-bailable.”

498a can only be invoked by wife/daughter-in-law or her relative. Most cases where Sec 498A is invoked turn out to be false (as repeatedly accepted by High Courts and Supreme Court in India) as they are mere blackmail attempts by the wife (or her close relatives) when faced with a strained marriage. In most cases 498a complaint is followed by the demand of huge amount of money (extortion) to settle the case out of the court. This section is non-bailable(you have to appear in court and get bail from the judge), non-compoundable (complaint can’t be withdrawn) and cognizable (register and investigate the complaint, although in practice most of the time arrest happens before investigation). There have been countless instances where, without any investigation, the police has arrested elderly parents, unmarried sisters, pregnant sister-in-laws and even 3 year old children. In these cases unsuspecting family of husband has to go through a lot of mental torture and harassment by the corrupt Indian legal system. A typical case goes on for years (5-7 years is typical) and the conviction rate is about 2% only. Some accused parents, sisters and even husbands have committed suicide after time in jail. — 498a.org, a website to raise awareness on 498A of IPC and it’s increasing misuse by the Indian daughter-in-laws.

One of the most hazardous and disastrous social evils in society along with crime against women is misandry i.e. hatred towards men, and is visible in following forms:

  1.  Presence of anti-male gender biased laws in India.
  2.  Little awareness of men’s issues.
  3. Trivialization of men’s problems.
  4. Male disposability.
  5. Systematic gender-based discrimination against men across policies – either public or private.
  6. No special protection accorded to men from serious issues like incidences of terror from intimate partners, immediate family and extended family.
  7. Gender based discrimination against fathers.
  8. Gender based discrimination against boys in education schemes.
  9. Irrational distribution of responsibilities across the two genders.
  10. No allocation of budget by Government towards male friendly causes and objectives.

According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) as many as 61,453 married men ended their lives in 2010, compared to 31,754 women. The NCRB report in 2011 concluded that at least 16 people committed suicide every hour and the total figure was 1.35 lakh; Suicides due to divorce and “illegitimate pregnancy” saw a rise of 54% and 20% respectively in 2011. The report showed that 70% of victims were married. While social and economic causes led most men to commit suicide, emotional and personal causes mainly drove women to take the extreme step.

Taking into consideration shortfall in Indian Penal code of basic human right of men and protection, a new law named ‘Saving Men from Intimate Terror Act’ SMITA is on the anvil. This bill is supposed to be tabled in the Parliament this winter session and debate would be held in the Rajyasabha as given to understand from the Standing Committee of the Parliament. — Fight For Justice, a blog on protecting men’s right in India.

SMITA is a joint initiative by the Indian Social Awareness and Activism Forum (INSAAF) and Confidare Research, drafted to protect men and boys from domestic violence from their spouse, girlfriends and parents.

Various forms of abuse against men by the opposite sex have been classified by  them under:

  • Physical abuse
  • Emotional abuse
  • Verbal abuse
  • Legal abuse
  • Economic abuse
  • Sexual abuse

The draft bill was sent as a petition to the Rajya Sabha by the NGOs, following which an acknowledgement was sent to the petitioners, paving the way for a discussion on it in the Upper House.

If you are one of the victims of women-centric family laws in the country, you can seek support at NGOs such as Men’s Rights AssociationSave Indian Family Foundation/All India Men’s Welfare Association.
Every coin has two sides to it, without looking at the other, one should not form an opinion. Justice For Women was not a result of misandry but an attempt to protect, save, empower and fight for equality of our own kind.
The purpose of this post is to aware the readers of the threats of women-centric laws to the men in India and to show our support for SMITA. This is not to say that crime against women and inferior status of women in India is a myth.
Everyone deserves fair and just trial. Gender bias deepens division of society based on sex and I believe we would all agree this country needs to learn solidarity, unity and tolerance towards those different from ourselves.

I am tired and angry of the daily escalating rape cases and furious of the politicization of rape. I see sensible men and women and leaders of this nation  justifying and explaining rape.
Numbers are pulled out of a hat, percentages are spouted without any thought, analysis or data.
The point remains that women are not safe. Full Stop.
Women in other developed countries wear what they want , they go where they wish, they study, they live without being harassed or held responsible for the irresponsible and raging hormones of fellow-men.
They aren’t ordered to not talk on mobiles phones or enquired about what they were wearing or where they were going. That is the meaning of being a developed nation. Where women and girls are safe.
And it’s not just hormones in my opinion, it’s the objectification of women.
Such men see women not as human beings but simply as objects for appeasement. They do not feel the need to control because there is no fear of punishment. After a long and torturous trial, torturous for the rape victim I mean,  the rapist will walk free. He will be a part of society, his parents and wife and family will welcome him back. So, why should he bother, there is nothing lost for him in giving in to his animal instincts.

Till society does not understand the horror of rape, till the lawmakers do not make stringent laws to protect women, till the authorities do not sympathize with the victim and understand the brutality suffered by her, till all of us do not realize that the victim is a sufferer not an object of curiosity, till the media does not report it as a crime not a titillation …till then rapes will increase, new-born girls will be thrown into garbage dumps, female infanticide will occur, gender ratio will remain unbalanced, men will ‘buy’ wives from better off states and women themselves will pray for sons.

We are heading towards the dark ages, we are heading towards doom. Beware of these times. They threaten not just women but humanity.

When I am critical and lambast men I am often asked why am I painting all by the same brush. I am not. But the point remains that for men , for good , kind, understanding, wonderful men also, rape is a women issue.
“I will never rape or tease a woman”.
But will you raise your voice against rape?
Will you stop other youths eve-teasing a girl or look away?
Will you fire or un-friend a male who harasses women colleagues ?
Will you marry a rape victim?



This post comprises of news-links about crime committed against young adults or girls below the age of 18 years. Newer  links on top.

  1. Mumbai: Girl stripped, paraded naked by neighbours; kills self
  2. After being stopped by police, clicked by media, girl commits suicide
  3. 11-year-old girl set ablaze by nine persons succumbs to burn injuries
  4. Nepal native raped minor repeatedly for 23 days; jailed for 7 yrs
  5. Iran moves to legalize marriage for girls under 10 years old
  6. Panchayat prohibits girls from carrying mobile phones
  7. Teenager gangraped in moving car; culprits still at large

Do send us more links so we can regularly update this post on our Twitter and/or our Facebook group.