Lets Change Ourselves First

Guest post by Saurin Parikh, an advertising entrepreneur and a writer: 

It’s been nearly two weeks since the gang rape in Delhi, and the country remains abuzz with outrages & protests over the very unfortunate incident. In fact, calling it ‘unfortunate’ seems like an understatement. It just shouldn’t have happened. Rapes and sexual abuses of any kind shouldn’t happen even once, but the fact that they happen with such frequency is alarming and disheartening.

We can’t begin to fathom what goes through the mind of a man who rapes a woman. What is even more difficult to understand is what goes through the mind of the woman who is being raped. A rape leaves scars that cannot be seen and cannot be healed. No one else but the victim can know what these emotional scars feel like. Which is probably why we outage where we can.

However, it would be wrong if we stopped at merely outraging and protesting. People are taking to the streets and forcing the government out of inaction, but that’s never going to be enough. You and I are definitely not going to do anything that will change the apathetic behaviour of our police force or the selfish nature of our politicians, but what we can change is our own outlook.

We can stop being indifferent, and help someone in need. The girl fought with all her will, she received the finest medical treatment in India and even in Singapore, but to no avail. We woke up today morning to the news of her death, to the news of another blossoming life ending abruptly, and cruelly. There have been reports that she and her friend had been lying on the roads of Delhi after being thrown out of the bus for nearly 3 hours. I am appalled at the rapists, but I am more appalled at everybody else who saw them lying there but chose to ignore them. Why didn’t even one person help them? I am sure her life would have been saved if she had received medical attention sooner. In cases like these, a few minutes can make a world of a difference. She was left unattended for 3 hours.

We protest over the government inaction, we outrage over the mindset of the rapists, but we forget to blame those bystanders who didn’t help the girl when she needed it the most. What would you have done? Ordinarily, most of us would have chosen to look the other way as well. And this is exactly what we need to change.

Next time you come across a situation of eve teasing, physical abuse or harassment of any kind, don’t look the other way. We can stop ourselves from turning a blind eye to such situations, something that we usually do. It’ll be tough, we might get into a fight, we might get harassed by the police, we might be at the risk of causing harm to ourselves, but if we really want things to change, we have got to be the ones to initiate it. We can’t sit back and blame the government for not doing enough, we aren’t doing enough either.

A lot of crimes are committed because the culprit knows that in 9 cases out of 10, the victim will receive no help from the people around them. It’s time for us to bring that ratio down. Outrage on the internet as much as you want, protests on the streets as much as you can, but when faced with a real situation, make sure you help a probable victim from turning into a victim. That will be one less life ruined and one less incident to outrage about.

Women Deserve Respect

Guest blog by Prashanth Kagali:

Rape means, “the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.”

I am a positive person and would love to inspire people and get inspired from them. But I have no idea how to inspire a girl who is raped. I feel shame even to approach considering the resentment she would be having against men, which is perfectly right on her part.

When fathers are raping their own daughters, there is no way a girl can trust any man. Even animals would not do this kind of heinous act. As the above definition goes, rape is something that is forced onto another person, against their will. Being a guy if someone forces me to do a simple thing as eating something, which is against my will, I reject it in the strongest of terms. I may never understand what a girl goes through and how it feels for her when someone rapes her, but forcing someone against their will even for smallest of things is just not respecting that person what he or she is.

What needs to be done?

Enough is written about the Rape incidents and its good people are talking and writing more about it. We always have to address the root cause of any problem. Here is where the education comes into picture. Education means not only what is taught at school but also at home. Parents have to teach their male children how to respect girls and how to treat them.

If only these Rape incidents have to end, then every parent should handover their son, a rapist, to the police and ensure strict action is taken. Tell me, how many parents or sisters or brothers would treat their sons or brothers with the same anger as they treat with any other rapist? It’s all about taking a stand.

We cannot live peacefully in a world if one tries to dominate the other. It’s all about giving respect to the other sex. Men need to be educated about the pain that girls goes through when they are raped. No matter what law is passed and what punishment is granted, rape can never be eliminated unless rapists exercise self-control.

I don’t get the idea of movies showing rape scenes. According to me it doesn’t make any sense. Rape scenes should be banned in movies. These rape scenes clearly show that men can exercise control over women. May be this is also in some way helping the rapists. Passing a single law or legislation or holding committees or giving death sentences can never eliminate rape. As we all know how death sentences are given in India. If the amount of time and money spent on deciding whether to give death sentence to Kasab is any indication then you can imagine what would be the case in these rape incidents.

Women deserve respect and it’s a shame that they have to fight for it even today.

I am Responsible..

Guest post by Anushree Kejriwal:

 

Amidst the simmering anger I try writing this post hoping that the flame won’t extinguish. So the rapes continue to happen, candle light marches, silent protests (the entire concept is a farce in my opinion though), blogs and demand for castration for the rapists. I totally second the latter though. It has happened and the enormity of the situation has probably ensured that the government wakes up.

Indeed it has. Politicians are flocking in to meet the lady, open letters are being written but introspection level is zero.

I don’t intend to blame anyone; I feel I am responsible for myself. Like me there are many others who are staying away from their loved ones in order to make a career for themselves. Our parents are constantly nagging us by commanding do this do that, in short do everything to protect yourself.

What we need is public support. Small incidents (according to the administration) like ‘eve teasing’ should be dealt with stronger steps. I do not mean that the police should necessarily be involved.

If someone is stalking or teasing you, create a scene. God has blessed you with a tongue, use it. He has given you two hands, use it. Shout in public. The public is a conglomerate of a variety of people: few are deaf, few are ignorant and a few are genuinely helpful. Let’s just ignore the two former cases and try harnessing the latter category.

Many women use the Metro for daily commuting, and prefer travelling in ladies’ coach than the general one. The myth that it’s safe is well just a myth. I often see men acting like bees, pushing themselves into the coach trying to catch a glimpse of the flowers for some honey. No one stops them because everybody is too busy with earphones plugged into their ears. That’s where we give a hint that we are weak.

The moment you raise your voice and protest, you will see the opposite sex simmering down. If someone is trying to “feel you”, be bold enough to make sure that the soles of your sandal feel his head. I repeat, harness the public’s energy. Mao said that revolution without bloodshed is impossible. Times have changed so we don’t need to shed blood, but we need to shed the cloak around us. Raise your voice once and see the difference. You will feel stronger and make the opposite sex feel weaker.

We are girls and not mules. No incident is small, even a simple case of “eve-teasing” should be dealt with harsh usage of words and sandals.

What happened to the Delhi gang rape survivor [and millions like her] was unfortunate and cannot be reversed but what may happen in the future can very well be prevented. Be responsible for your own self and see to how others acknowledge your importance. Whenever required shout, abuse and use your hands and sandals judiciously.

To Those Talking About Changing the Mindset of Rapists

Guest post by Sadho who is currently working with Says.com (a people-powered media) to revolutionize the news and how it’s read, shared and followed on the Internet:

Change mindset? Really?

For a moment let’s forget the rapes of 20-30 year old women!

Explain to me, how do you plan to change the mindset of that man who abused his 6-year-old daughter for 1 and half-year and invited his friends to do the same? Tell me, how do you plan to change the mindset of that man who raped his friend’s daughter who was again, a 6-year-old?

A 20-year-old student was raped in a moving bus and beaten with an iron rod for 45 minutes along with her male friend and then thrown out in a semi-naked state and you all are talking about changing mindset?

You really need to wake up!

Do you think these people who commit a crime so heinous as rape, care for your “educated rant” about changing mindset?

Are you all really that naive to think that any amount of education, exposure to rights, human values, etc will change the attitude and thinking of such men? No, seriously?

These men have become fearless. And in their fearlessness, they have forgotten everything that is there to humanity and emotions of others. This absence of fear has made them blind. And fear is what can control them. They need to be taught a lesson. A lesson so frightening, so gut wrenching, so much more humiliating than the very crime that they commit, that others won’t even dare to so much as even think of raping or even passing a vulgar line to another woman.

Because trust me, no amount of lecture, social education, attempts to change mindset is going to do any good. You can’t inspire them to become someone they are not. So shut the f**k up. Because they simply don’t care. But what we can do is make them fear. And that can only happen when these men are caught and shot in their d***s in full public view and then are left there to die a death they never thought they would get for their heinous act!

Fear, my educated friends, and only fear will drive them to keep their d***s under control.

And NO, it’s not an eye for an eye kind of justice. In fact, it is not justice at all. It’s wrong. It’s unethical. And it should not be done. But, it has to be done in order to put a leash on such people. It must be done in order to prevent another pervert from even daring to think of committing rape in future. It must be done in order to make this country safe for women. It MUST be done in order to STOP RAPE!